1. There need not be a major life event or trigger
Often times, there might be the misconception that only a very major and devastating event would lead one to contemplate or attempt suicide. While events like that can be a trigger for suicide, it is not always a prerequisite. The cause of suicide can be a combination of many factors, including genetics, being unable to cope with current life events, mental illness, and certain demographics and living conditions.
“Nothing bad needs to have happened. There doesn't need to be a crisis or disaster in your life, or even any minor inconvenience. Everything could be going just fine, as good as it could ever realistically be. But some days you wake up and feel very tired of dealing with just the bare minimum of living. Like there's not much of value that would be lost if you were gone from the world, compared to how much of a relief it would be if you just ended it.”
2. There are usually warning signs to look out for
Suicide is not usually done on impulse. There are usually early warning signs and attempts to communicate to others their intentions. They may express it verbally, or show a change in their mood or exhibit behaviours such as giving away their prized possessions.
“It might start as a trickle. A bad thought here, pointless self-criticism here. But unchecked it soon spreads like wildfire. You start to dread the big things in your life, going to work, meeting your friends. To the little things like eating, sleeping properly, even bathing or brushing your teeth.”
3. It is a downwards spiral
When things in life start to lose its meaning, one would not participate in it. But by doing so, life loses its meaning even more, and thus the downwards spiral. The guilt and self-blame aggravate the process, making it a difficult place to get out of.
“You're not trying to be lazy, but it certainly looks, and feels like it. You blame yourself for not putting in effort, and it starts to accelerate the process. Soon everything loses meaning, even the simple act of enjoying a cup of tea.”
4. A new perspective on life / resilience and growth
In every crisis, there is always growth. The experiences in life are what builds a person and teaches them the coping strategies and skills that they have.
“I think that having come so close to death’s door makes me see life a little differently. The worst thing that can ever happen to any human is death, but I have already gone past the fear of death. Many barriers and difficulties in life seem to pale in comparison to what I have gone through. If I can survive that dark part of my life, I can survive anything.”
Written by Athena Khoo, an NTU graduate who majored in Psychology. Athena is currently working as a research assistant for NUS Department of Surgery, focusing on research on palliative care and colorectal cancer. Her hobbies include gaming, tabletop and YouTube videos.
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