The Balancing Act: Coping with DID while schooling

Mental health struggles are just as debilitating as physical illnesses, yet many sufferers continue to go to work or attend school despite struggling with mental illnesses.

From the desire to conform to societal expectations to having financial dependents, the reasons are varied as to why people choose to shoulder on responsibilities even though they face psychological difficulties.

We interview a few individuals, and find out how they are able to balance mental health with work/school responsibilities.

Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Pei Ling’s story:

I have major depression, panic disorder with agoraphobia, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and dissociative identity disorder (DID) – all diagnosed at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

I didn’t realise I was facing mental health difficulties until a month into polytechnic, where a friend at the time suggested I see the school counsellor. From there, I was sent to IMH and diagnosed with major depression. Before then, I just thought all my difficulties were normal and were the failings of my personality.

Struggles with DID and PTSD

The mental health struggle that impacts me the most is DID. With this condition alone, I have amnesia where I lose time and can sometimes find myself in places I don’t recognise. Sometimes, people will tell me I did something I have no memory of, and if I made someone angry or upset during those periods, I just have to take their word for it and make it up to them, all while being confused over what happened. I also have to listen to my alters and take their feelings about things into account. We fight a lot due to our differing opinions and ways we respond to the same situation, but all in all, we try to work together in our own way. There is a lot of uncertainty with this condition which I learned to not be as shocked whenever it happens.

With PTSD, I have multiple triggers that bring up flashbacks. From being screamed at, to even hearing cutlery hitting against one another, sometimes even just from migraines. I have frequent panic attacks and several depressive episodes every year, but my DID makes it harder because not every alter has the same severity of anxiety and depression, also add that to the general amnesia where I forget if I even took the medication to begin with. Even with medication app trackers, if another alter decides not to take the medication, they can simply throw it away and log the medication in as taken for the day.

(Editor’s note: Alters in DID refers to the sense of alternative identities within a single human body.)

Carving out a different academic path

Since young I have always been bullied for being different, and I was much slower than my peers. I went into polytechnic for a nursing course and took a lot of medical leave due to multiple breakdowns and suicide attempts.

Eventually I deferred from my nursing diploma about a year into the course to focus on getting back on track with my mental health, for dealing with the depression. I got diagnosed with more mental health conditions and had to drop out of nursing by the time my deferment was up.

I took up the food and nutrition diploma but could not even last a week. I had to sit with my psychiatrist at the time to discuss my options as I had to officially drop out of polytechnic. I had an interest in psychology all my life so I took up a private diploma in psychology. With my interest, I achieved good grades and now I am doing a private degree majoring in both psychology and human resource management.

Unique struggles at school

Amnesia is a big issue at school, I often cannot remember what happens in class, or whether I even attended class. The content of the class is somewhat manageable to catch up on and most lecturers are kind and willing to answer questions. But once you miss out on the tips on assignments or exams, that’s irreversible.

Resilient strategies

Luckily for me, school is not a daily thing. What helped was micromanaging my calendar to make sure all the tasks I need to do are spread out from the starting date all the way to the deadline. So, if an assignment is due in 3 weeks’ time, I set aside at least 1 hour a day to focus on that assignment, with a half-hour break right after. If I am very focused and can continue, it would eat into the break and I can get more things done that way.

On days when it is harder to deal with life, I note which day and focus on taking a break instead, getting back to things that need to be done when feeling better. It helps a lot since I have several medical appointments in a week, so I can see what is on my schedule. It might seem overwhelming, but it helps to have a rather fixed schedule.

Accommodations and acceptance by understanding school staff

I was referred to the school counsellor in my current school due to being suspected of having Dyslexia. After getting a referral to be tested, I was given a dyslexia diagnosis and accommodations were given such as extra time in exams, audio recordings of classes and extensions on assignments.

I am lucky that these accommodations could fit nicely with what I need with my mental health issues. They really helped me a lot, especially with further added accommodations like allowing earbuds during exams, and being placed in a separate room with an invigilator during my exams especially after I got tested and diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. All my accommodations help not only the learning difficulties, but my mental health issues especially during a rough depressive episode or a major flareup in any of my health conditions.

One step at a time

I have weekly psychology appointments and see an occupational therapist every few weeks. They help a lot since a lot of stressful things are going on and they allow me to vent and have space away from those stressors.

 

Advice for people with mental health difficulties trying to make it through school

Try to use your strengths to help classmates, and hope they are willing to help you back when you need the help. If the school is willing to accommodate, speak to them and try to work things out. A diagnosis goes a long way, despite it still being very stigmatizing, but at least it gives a name for your difficulties and people can try to separate your difficulties from laziness.

If you’re struggling with a mental health crisis, don’t hesitate to reach out for help:

-       Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline (6389-2222)

-       Samaritans of Singapore (1800-221-4444)