Managing mood disorders as a freelancer



Last week, we covered the story of a a student who went on with school as she tried to cope with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Mental health struggles are just as debilitating as physical illnesses, yet many sufferers continue to go to work or attend school despite struggling with mental illnesses.

From the desire to conform to societal expectations to having financial dependents, the reasons are varied as to why people choose to shoulder on responsibilities even though they face psychological difficulties.

This week, we speak to a freelancer, and learned how she tried to balance mental health with work responsibilities.

Sheryl’s story:


I’ve always felt challenges coping with my emotional stability and dealing with suicidal ideations growing up, so to some degree, I always knew I had mental health difficulties. When I was my 20s and going through a big depressive episode, a friend pushed me to seek professional help and have been undergoing treatment since then. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, major depression, and Bipolar type II.
Generally, I have a hard time regulating my moods – I tend to swing to extreme highs and lows, which also manifests in my actions and the things I choose to do. For example, I used to self-harm and drink alcohol compulsively.  High and low moods can equally influence reckless and self-destructive patterns in my behaviour, and my life can often feel inconsistent and unpredictable as a result. 


Opting for flexibility at work


I have always chosen to work freelance, which complements the lifestyle I most appreciate. It allows me to decide the amount of time I have for myself, which is handy if I need a mental break from things. And when I’m feeling particularly energetic, I can take on big quantities of work and feel productive.

However, my work environment can be fast-paced and often gets quite stressful. My role requires a great deal of self-sufficiency and responsibility, so I often feel like if I am having a rough time emotionally, it would be really detrimental to my performance at work. There’s a constant feeling of, “If I mess one thing up, the whole project is going to fail.” So there’s often a huge weight on my shoulders and if my mood disorder decides to act up, I feel like I can’t afford to take a step back and take care of it. 


On sharing only what is necessary
                                                                          

I want to open as possible about my mental health at work. But as I’m often working with new people, it’s always a decision I have to make about how much or little I want to disclose for fear of being misunderstood or having my work judged differently as a result of disclosing my diagnosis. I am usually open about the fact that I have mental health struggles and am undergoing some treatment, but I stay away from going into detail about my diagnosis or the darker moments from my recovery.


Recognising when it’s time to hit the pause button



I know when it’s time to take a break from work to focus on mental health when I start searching for one-way tickets out of the country to avoid a meeting. I think everyone has their own indicators of burnout and for me, it’s an impulsive urge to run away, physically or emotionally. I’m learning to recognise these signs early and address the stressors before they take over.

I’m finding now that just as much as I need to find time for work, I need to make time to manage my emotional and mental health. I’ve learned the hard way that always having an all-or-nothing approach can be unhealthy and often learns to burnout. Finding balance has helped me; spending my free time doing things I love, such as walking in nature, cooking healthy meals, and engaging with loved ones gives me the energy I need to push through everything else. 

Work can be really difficult when you’re struggling with mental health, but it can also be a great source of routine, which can be helpful for us too. Build healthy habits around your work schedule consisting of things that you love, and always keep things to look forward to. Recovery is a holistic and ongoing effort. Stay present and love yourself, and the rewards will come naturally.


If you’re struggling with a mental health crisis, don’t hesitate to reach out for help:
- Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline (6389-2222)
- Samaritans of Singapore (1800-221-4444) 

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